Real Talk

This is the end of my Tumblr hiatus. Here’s a list of New Years Resolutions to kick it off:

1. Write more: I used to write a lot. Now I write silly work emails. I think I used to be funny.

2. Operation Hair Cut: Get a cool hair cut. We all know what happened last year with the 1/2 head shave whilst blackout. I’ll tell you this- I miss my Skrillex hair. Time for something fun.

3. Selfish Indulgence: I’m going to stop wasting time on anything unless it’s completely selfish. For example, if a friend frenemy says they’ll meet me and they’re 5 minutes late, I leave. If I’m sleeping with someone who’s all around mediocre, I gotta cut that shit asap. If I feel like facebook stalking the boy named Tucker who was my neighbor from ages 2-8, totally OK.

4. Self defense: Do some karate/join a dojo

5. Fiscal Emotional Cliff: Stop investing in those who will inevitably let me down motional fiscal cliff. I’m sailing into 2013 freshly single/back on the market. This last one stings a little less than usual but hey- it’s no cake walk. Usually I’m nostalgic for an ex. I’m all “OH EM GEE, we went to that planned parenthood together! sob sob sob.” This last one left me kinda bitter. I’m all “wow, what a waste of a good 6 months.” It wasn’t that we had the worst time. Rather unfortunately, the most memorable parts were my disappointment. Being disappointed in someone you care about is a terrible feeling. Having that person refuse accountability for anything and everything is even worse. So, hey. You live and you learn, right? 

That’s all for this evening. I think I have about 10 months of things to catch up on around here. Maybe I’ll just start fresh. Here’s to onward and upward.

Homeless to Harvard, bitchezz

I quit my lame job at the grocery store. That place was going DOWN. Between no customers and employees quitting on the REG, it was a sinking ship. So I quit.

You’re probably shaking your head thinking “Have fun at the public aid office, you stupid ho” NOPE- none of that shit. I got a REAL JOB. That’s right y’all. Ya gurl works at a successful dotcom. WUSSUP NOW, grocery hotties?!

So I’m still working at the grocery store (through this week) and it’s impossible to go to work once you’ve given your GTFO notice. On Saturday, I went out drinking instead of going to work. I called in and told my supervisor that I had diarrhea and that I was sleeping in the bathtub so I wouldn’t crap in my bed. THAT’S HOW MUCH I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. Tonight I went to work and refused to do any actual work. No one even confronted me! It’s tight.

I can’t wait to start my dotcom job. Hello salary, benefits, business cards and getting laid. Commence “sleep my way to the top” in t- 2 weeks.



Second base at last!

Everyone cool has a mohawk

Reblogged from i love myself too.